Panda’s FishNet

One thing that rather intrigues me is people’s fascination with flying first class. First of all, I don’t pay for first class, I will never pay for first class. I just need to get from point A to point B, on time preferably. OK, I will only pay for business or first class travel using miles but only on transpacific or transatlantic trips. Miles are not cash so I still don’t pay for first class. Secondly, I fly more than most people because I find good deals. And I earn miles and frequent flyer status on those trips. So I get upgraded to first class most of the time because I am stupid enough to suck up to the airlines and fly almost exclusively with one or two airlines such as Northwest/Delta. So I play the “game” so I get those perks including first class for free.

Even with the upgrade, first class is not that exciting. Domestic first class seats are kind of disappointing. They are perhaps at most 5 inches longer and 5 inches wider, at most, and I am being generous about it. The only good thing about first class is the free food. That’s it! And most of time I eat in the terminal, because food on the plane usually sucks. It doesn’t matter if it’s coach or first. It seems to me airline food is always made in the same factory on the same assembly line by the same group of people who are probably in the same union.  And it doesn’t matter where you are eating your food, in the front cabin or in the last row of the plane, they taste the same: overcooked, salty, generally tastes like flavored cardboard.

The other thing about flying first class is you get to board early. I still remain apprehensive about that so called “perk”. While being able to board early is kind of nice because you have your first dip into the overhead bin space. That’s because with all the checked luggage fees and what not, people now bring way too much stuff onto the plane. People carry on pretty much everything but the kitchen sink.

It amuses me that people are so serious about this boarding ritual. There are always this group of people that would stand in front of the boarding lane at the gate, like a group of hawks watching a new born chick, blocking the boarding lane with their oversize carryon suitcase, ready to jump and swamp the gate the nanosecond their boarding group is called. Whenever I see them I think to myself “OK…they had a rough day at work and they just have to get home as soon as possible, I can understand that.” But actually, I don’t understand that. I mean the plane is not just going to take off with 100 passengers left behind waiting at the gate. So what’s the freaking rush! And you know what’s even more amusing? They are the sort of people who don’t get to board early. I always have to go “Eh…excuse me, I am boarding, they are calling my zone.” And then they would give me this stink eye and slowly move perhaps 1 inch at most away from me. And most of the time, they don’t even bother moving their oversize luggage which is always conveniently blocking me.

And then you are just getting settling in, just got done with the luggage ritual, adjusting your seat belt, perhaps just got a pre-flight cocktail from the flight attendant and trying to forget the stink eye the previous guy just gave you. And now coach is boarding. Then the very same inconsiderate jerk who just blocked your way to the plane and gave you the stink eye is walking towards you. And he would see you enjoying your cocktail drink sitting in your upgraded seat in first class, and then…he decides to give you an even bigger stink eye. So yep, flying first class is not that glamorous at all.

That’s why  flying Boeing 757 domestically is always a treat. 757 usually boards from the door located in the middle of the plane. You walk in, turn left and walk straight into your first class seat, never have to see folks in coach because they have to turn right when they board. One less stink eye.

I will have to say, flying transpacific or transatlantic flights up front is quite nice. Food is a lot better (eatable) and seats are a lot better (almost lie flat). I enjoy Air France service up front, especially their collection of french wine and champagne. Only if I have that many miles I can afford to burn…