I have recently gone home for a little over 2 weeks. While I was enjoying nice sunny Hawaiian weather and getting sun burn while playing rounds and rounds of golf, I had came to the realization that my immigrant parents (especially my dad) have evolved into another type of species…the Spoiled Suburbanites.
I believe a spoiled suburbanite has the following characteristics:
1. Watch Fox News Religiously
FNC…should I say more? It’s the news channel that does not have much news. It’s full of commentators and “experts” who don’t know a thing. Take the Mass Effect sex debate for example. FNC’s slogan “Fair and Balance” is totally overrated and I have a new one for them – “It’s not news, it’s Fox News”.
2. Wear Crocs
Crocs gotta be the ugliest shoes I have ever seen. They are totally and undeniably eyesores. If suburbanites want to wear them at where the work such as a hospital or a lab or a clean room or even in a kitchen, that’d totally fine. But if people wear them cruising down the steet, walking around in the malls, they seriously should be fined.
3. Go to Whole Foods
Whole Foods is totally overrated. First of all, it’s expensive. Secondly they claim their products are mostly if not all “organic”. But what does “organic” even mean? A quick read of Wikipedia shows a lot of the times the “organic” certificate is BS anyway.
So there you go…the 3 characteristics of a spoiled suburbanite…Enjoy my new blog with “exciting” improvements!
But Crocs are like cheap slippers. And Whole Foods actually sells good free-range meat.
Thank goodness I at least don’t watch Fox News except as ridiculous entertainment.
By: paintedv on June 4, 2008
at 9:55 am